Big gay Simon is at his regular doctor's appointment, when the doc announces,

"I'm sorry to tell you this Simon, but you've got aids."

Devastated, Simon asks the doctor if there is anything he can do about it.

"Well," begins the doc, "you should eat ten sausages, a cabbage, 40 walnuts, 40 peanuts, half a box of bran flakes, and wash it down with a gallon of prune juice."

"Wow," says Simon, "will that cure me?"

"No," replies the doc, "but it'll give you a better understanding of what your arse is for."

gross!